Motherhood.

When May 2022 came around, you surprised us by entering our lives.
We heard your beating heart, and although I swear I wasn’t ready to be your mother yet, I cried the first time I saw you.
Everyone was so happy, but can I be honest with you?
I was still confused and anxious about how your father and I would be able to go on our Europe trip with you.
Some might find that selfish, and maybe it was, but the trip was my dream, and your father had it all planned out. And I couldn’t fathom cancelling the tickets, especially after I had put my heart and soul into setting up the itinerary.

2.5 months later, the doctor told us that your heart wasn’t beating anymore. We didn’t know what to do with that information. We were told that you had left us 3 weeks back, and I had been carrying you still for so long.
It was shocking, overwhelming, confusing, and above all, nerve-wracking.
I underwent an emergency surgery, and they removed you from me. We were no longer together.

It took us a while to get over the immense intensity of the incident. Saying goodbye to you was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do – both physically and mentally.

Soon enough, September came, and who could have been your parents went on their trip.
We came back and were advised not to conceive for another 6 months.
But as luck would have it, you came back to us the next month!
However, we were careful this time. We didn’t tell either of your grandparents and didn’t even go to the doctor. We waited for you to tell us that you’d be with us for the longer run this time.
And my God, was it absolutely insane when we saw you for the first time again after 8 weeks, and you were pronounced “healthy”!
I cried and I cried and I knew that I had already fallen in love with you.
Your father tried to hide his emotions, but boy, did he fail miserably! I swear I saw his eyes misting.
We told your grandparents, and they were over the moon.

And slowly and steadily, you took over our entire lives.
Were you okay? Were you moving? Were you developing okay? These questions and so many more kept taking over my thoughts.
I couldn’t imagine being without you.
And now, you’re here.

After an arduous 40-week gestation, a 9-hour labour, and a difficult delivery filled with blood and cuts and stitches, you came to us! For real!
I smelt you, I held you, I heard you, I saw you – and I knew that our lives would never be the same.
Even with so many people telling me how tough a natural birth would be, I didn’t care one bit. Because I knew at the end of it all, I’d hold you in my arms.
I cried the moment I saw you, and guess what, so did your father.

Thank you for making me a better person, a kinder person, a more compassionate and patient person, and mostly, thank you for making me a mother.

We know we didn’t do anything, you chose us. You chose me. And I will do everything in my power and beyond to be everything you need and want.
We’ll protect you, love you, and be with you every day from this day until our last day.

Your father has been the sun, the moon, and the stars of my existence, and I never knew there could a stronger bond. But every time I look at you, I know that I would fight the world with one hand if you hold the other.
You’re my centre of everything and you will find a safe place in us, always.
Always.